A Penny for Your Thoughts...

Is Ignorance Really Bliss?

The moment I stepped within the portals of law school, I knew my life was going to change. But when I thought of change then, I had envisioned change in the form of new friends, new people to interact with, new environment, new field (I had premed –B.S. Pharmacy- as my prelaw course!), new lifestyle and even a new clock (biological clock that is). Maybe to some this would probably sound stupid, but I didn’t think my perception of things or life would change. In my defense, thinking this wasn’t at all stupid. I guess it was a sign of my maturity (or lack of it) then. These were my concerns. These were the things that mattered to me.

After one semester passed, and even despite the uncertainty of whether or not I could go on in the same law school, I knew I wouldn’t get out of law school empty handed – not even after just barely 5 months of law school. Somehow, that one semester (I thought then) was enough to give me that confidence I never had before. And it wasn’t about finishing law school, or graduating from a good school, or becoming a lawyer even. It was about the knowledge I had gained from that brief time spent in law school. Learning about the law, the government, the justice system, my rights, the rights of others, and its corresponding obligations.

As fate would have it, I finished law in the same law school I started at. And it wasn’t an easy feat but just because it wasn’t easy that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a fun ride – tho that’s a story for another time. ☺

Anyway my point is that a lot of people have no idea how much knowledge, can empower them. By empowering I mean the capacity to deal with life and everything that comes with it. Taking it in the context of our society, knowledge is a luxury reserved for but a few privileged people (with the exception of a handful we can call lucky). 

I grew up in the province and count myself lucky and part of the privileged few who were able to finish post graduate studies in a prestigious school here in the Philippines. Now, I live in the big city, and while I knew ignorance existed in abundance in the province I cannot help but notice that it is the same in the big city. Maybe a lot of people in poor, undeveloped and neglected areas of this country are illiterate due to the lack of faclilities, if not access to the same in their part of the world, or maybe sometimes even if there are, they are unable to go to because they too have too work at a young age just to put enough food on the table.

Knowledge, in this day and age, has become another asset to be traded in the streets. It has become an expensive investment. And like any other asset or merchandise – knowledge can be hoarded, monopolized, regulated, denied and even manipulated by the powerful. Again, I am not saying that I am…

But ignorance does not necessarily mean illiteracy. Just because one can read and write, doesn’t mean you are not ignorant.

Maybe all these musings were brought about by certain current events, but this is one of the subjects I feel most strongly about. INJUSTICE. Life isnt fair I know, but we can certainly cushion the blow by at least providing equal opportunities for everyone. Even to my own ears, these words sound too idealistic to the point of naivete but I stand by them. We all could use a dose of idealism every now and then. I do not claim to have all the answers or solutions to the problems we are currently facing.

Do Opposites Really Attract?

As if made of metals, attraction between two people has been likened to those of magnets. The magnetic theory of attraction basically tells us that like poles repel and opposite poles attract. I suppose it is logical to come up with the conclusion that the same is true for the attraction between man and woman. This is if we are dealing with people who are hell bent on making a whole out of two halves, which is also consistent with the theory of soulmates. However unlike magnets, which will always repel like poles, man and woman who are very much alike can find themselves attracted to each other. How long the attraction may last is another issue altogether best left to discuss another time.

Before I can begin a dissertation on this theory of attraction, what would qualify as an opposite of something or someone? If we talk of gender, as in man being attracted to woman, we know this is not always the case. Take for instance the homosexual who is attracted to members of the same sex. Well, maybe it’s talking about the physical attributes of a person. But I wonder what (or who) would be one’s opposite? I don’t have an identical twin and everyone else is physically unlike me but I don’t find myself attracted to everyone in this world. Or maybe opposite in the sense of character or attitude? Like the weak gets drawn to the strong or vice versa. But I know of some strong people who get turned off by the weak. These are usually the kind of people who believe that they should be with an equal.

I look back at my past relationships and those of my friends to try to make sense of why we choose to be with the person we are with. Or better yet – why we find ourselves drawn to the people we find ourselves attracted to. I can only come up with the conclusion that the person we are attracted or drawn to depends largely on what stage we are in our lives – how we feel about ourselves at that point in our life.

Right about the time puberty hits, we all go into a phase of discovery, trying to find our identities. Usually, at this stage, we find ourselves drawn to the people we want or ought to be. Like the meek girl having the biggest crush on the most popular guy in school. Or the self-conscious boy playing slave to the prettiest chick in school. The subconscious yearning to be with a person who represents what and where we wish we were at that point in our life but are not – for different reasons.

Well, if you’re reading this and you’re either in your twenties or thirties, don’t congratulate yourself just yet, that phase isn’t confined to when puberty hits. For a lot of people who have yet to find their own identities – the one they’re most comfortable with – the attraction to this person who best represents their innermost yearnings can go on even to adulthood. It somehow gives you the consolation that if you can’t be like him (or her) you might as well be with that him (or her). This doesn’t seem so bad save for the fact that we end up feeling less then when we came into the relationship. Inferiority complex sets in after the initial honeymoon stage.

Beware that you don’t fall into the trap of getting drawn to a person who reminds you of what you hate the most about yourself. This is a fatal attraction. Well maybe fatal is too strong (dramatic) a word; destructive is more appropriate in such an instance. This usually means you are not being completely honest about yourself. You feel no need to address your own issues anymore. And that person is a constant reminder of your hypocrisy and your inability to deal with your own issues with yourself – that you’d rather deal with the same issues but someone else’s (not yours) is your only consolation which leaves you nowhere up but downhill. Why? Coz you eventually end up treating the other person the way others who know about your flaws have maltreated you or abused you (verbally, emotionally or even physically, as in some extreme cases).

There is that false sense of security from feeling that you are better than the person you are with or the person you find yourself attracted to. Especially when you know deep inside of you is that nagging feeling that you’re no better than the other person.

Then there’s that phase, (which I think most of us should achieve for) when you have found yourself. Finally, you’re comfortable in your own skin. And whatever confidence or self-esteem you have comes from knowing your own person and being able to deal with yourself and how others deal with you. This is no longer about who’s better than who. Neither is it about finding an equal. It’s about knowing who you really are and accepting yourself. You know your strengths and your weaknesses. You are able to use these to your advantage while still striving to better yourself. I call this the ideal relationship phase. I think its only here when one is able to objectively find the perfect mate for himself (or herself). The soulmate. The other half. This is the phase where opposites should attract.

It is about finding the person who will complement your being. That one person who makes you whole (so to speak). This person is ideally that one person who had the strengths over your weaknesses and whose weaknesses are your strengths. Together you make a great team. If you are able to work well together. Such a partner however should be able to recognize this and feel the same way about you. Otherwise you are simply in for the never underrated unrequited love.

Let me emphasize that all these observations do not take into account physical attraction between two people. Well, if you happen to find your “soulmate” physically attractive and there’s all that sexual chemistry between you two, then good for you!

To my mind, more than the attraction, chemistry, and other what have you’s out there, respect is still is the best kept secret to a lasting relationship, whether it be friendship or marital. Respect for the other person’s thoughts, opinions, sexuality, work, character and choices. With respect comes love, but unfortunately we do not necessarily respect the people we love.

Im still trying to find the me I wanna be and ought to be. So I know that no matter how hard I look, even if the “right” guy comes along or may already be around, I will never see him for what he is until ive finally figured out myself. Only then can I be ready, willing and able to sustain a relationship with someone other than myself. And I think the same should go for the guy im meant to be with. I want him to be ready willing and able to sustain a lasting and loving relationship by the time im ready. And if we do bump into each other at the right place, right time, right circumstances then surely you can’t and wont dare argue with fate – its meant to be.

P.S. In my case, pls let him be tall, dark and… hhhmmm… gorgeous! Wait!... make that smokin’ HOT!!! ;)

Missing God...

Out of nowhere a thought creeps its way into my head: There are more stars in the universe than there are grains of sand on Earth… I couldn’t help but arrive at the conclusion that in this vast universe I am actually not even a mere speck of dust but so much smaller to the point of nothingness and I got to thinking how arrogant I have been to think that what I did or do in the future matters… That my actions however small they may be would affect the world… That I exist to fulfill some greater purpose… And that I should spend my life searching for or fulfilling this purpose when it doesn’t have to be that way… Thousands of people die everyday and yet we all go on with our lives… Worse, the Earth could explode into a million pieces anytime and yet the universe wouldn’t care… In the end, we don’t really matter coz we’re just matter: something that occupies space.

Then the inevitable question involving God and religion comes in… Sure there may be a God. An infinite power bigger and more powerful than the universe itself… But then again there may not be one either… Nevertheless absent proof otherwise, I believe in a God, in whatever form or name he might actually be… And then there’s us, man (or woman) aka homo sapiens. Now assuming the story of creation is actually true, and a greater power created all of these – then why is man so important in this world? I only have one sure answer, the author/writer/ brains behind the biggest bestselling book of all time is definitely a man (or a woman). So who’s to say who’s right and who’s wrong?

I know that my knowledge of God came from my mother teaching me that there is a God. That we should pray to the same God for everything that happens in our lives- the good, the bad, and more so the worst. For my part (and maybe for a lot of other people out there) I feel that my spirituality is a programmed one – one that I had no free hand in choosing for myself whether or not I actually believe with every fiber of my being that this is my truth. The kind truth I choose to believe in and live with in my lifetime. That is my lost God. Lucky is the man who finds his God.

Maybe religion and science are not meant to co-exist. And until the time man figures out a way to bridge the gap and fix the contradictions that defy logic and reason, there will always be people like myself – lost and confused in the sea of life. Hopefully, soon enough, we can figure out where we went wrong. After all contradictions do not exist. If you find yourself facing a contradiction, check your premises and you’ll find that at least one of them is wrong or missing. Then you’ll find the answer you’re looking for.

Until then, I can merely hold on to my bag of wisdom knowing that, at the end of the day, faith is all I got – for now anyway.

Lost and Found: Lovers and Friends

I pride myself for being a good friend. Unfortunately ive yet to say the same about being a girlfriend. So I usually end up being “just” friends with guys I date or used to date. For a long time I found nothing wrong about this. But lately I got to wondering if what my friend said about me “chickening” out when things got a little too close for comfort could be true. I do admit that unlike most of the female population (and more like most of the male…) I have commitment issues. While most women my age would love nothing more than to be in a committed relationship, I would prefer to be single – after all why miss out on what’s out there. Go on dates, spend as much time with my girlfriends, taking trips, shopping til we dropped, or lock myself in my place and watch dvds all day, curl in bed with a good book, catch up on my artwork, or be out hanging out with my guy friends. I can go on about the number of privileges I enjoy as a single woman in her mid- twenties. And that’s on top of me being part of the “bum” population. Imagine trying to fit all the things you usually do or want to do with a full-time job and having a boyfriend! Nowadays it’s a full-time job to be a girlfriend.

I can manipulate the outcome of this discussion to arrive at a conclusion that I am not missing out on something great just because I am single and unattached – although at the risk of sounding like I am sourgraping. But I won’t because this is a trip I’d want to take. I would like to explore the intricacies of being in a relationship just as I would being single. With a little help from friends of course. Its been almost four years since I have been in a committed exclusive serious relationship (… and even that last one doesn’t qualify me as an expert since it didn’t last more that a little over three measly months! ☺)

From my “extensive” research on the matter there are at two general tendencies and perspective: the male and the female. I would much rather focus on the female tendencies since my question revolves around whether or not I am any different from the rest of my species? Which necessitates going thru my childhood in a nutshell.

I am the fourth of five children, the youngest amongst four girls. Like most young girls I had my share of countless hours spent daydreaming. I would be a pixie in a magical forest waving my wand to make flowers bloom or to create a rainbow at the end of a refreshing rainfall. On other days I would be sliding down this magnificent waterfalls to land on this breathtakingly serene beach. Some days id be surrounded by my magical friends, sitting down, content, and simply enjoying nature’s wonders. Weird as it may sound (even to me now that I’m a grown up) I actually felt a certain oneness with nature often having conversations with a member of the flora of fauna. Surprisingly I realise now that, even though these conversations were mere products of my vivid imagination, they made a lot of sense – then and even now. Then there were those days (mostly rainy days) when I would usually feel an overwhelming need to share these feelings of love for all things nice and wonderful. The big question was how.

To the outside world I was your average youngster going thru the same growing pains, literally getting into a few fights over seemingly insignificant things with other kids in school or at home. I was never an outcast or a wallflower. I was out there. What most people didn’t know was that I had to fight tooth and nail to be able to express my thoughts, my feelings, my individuality to the world. Deep down I had a nagging feeling that somehow I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Did i ever belong? But even then I knew that I had to wait it out first. It was as if I was an old soul trap in a child. I couldn’t wait to grow up.

As a young tomboy enjoying the company of my rowdy but dependable friends from the opposite sex. It came easy, making, having and keeping boy friends. I always felt safer and more comfortable around them. Then at the onset of puberty, came the confusion. Why did it have to be complicated. Why couldn’t girls and boys be just friends without the added baggage of physical attraction? As far as I was concerned boys and girls are not much different from each other – to hell with menarche and boobs! Me, being the rebel that I was, resolved to defy the bounds of norms and be one of the boys. And I did. I went thru high school without going thru any of the puppy loves. Which, by the way, explains the fact that and why I do not have a childhood sweetheart story.

Then came my first run in with love (or something like it) in college. Not bad I thought… who ever said that I had to have a whole lotta practice to get that one right the first time? Or so I thought I had it right. At first blush you think its love, but then you realize its not what you think it is. But I’m gonna give credit where its due. Once (which seems like ages ago) I did feel what I thought and still think is the kinda love I would like to have and keep if it came again at the right time and with the right person this time. Although m pretty sure that under those conditions what I thought was great then would be exponentially greater – again that is if I’m lucky enough to find “it”. I’ve had my fair share of the dating game. And to be able to say that I was actually deeply and passionately in love with someone at one point in my life, I count myself lucky. As the saying goes – its better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all.

I’m done playing. When you think its not going anywhere, why bother? When I find myself in a situation when I actually think its better not to complicate things I step back and do my best to salvage whats left to save. Hopefully, you get to keep them as friends. But that only works if the other person wants to keep up the friendship, otherwise you’ll be up for another futile uphill battle against all odds. All you can do is try.

I look at myself then and now with no regrets over the person I have become. It sounds passe but I am what I am now because of what I have gone through in that department. And mind you I have been through a lot. Its like hell and back. And I know I’m barely at the junction in my long journey through life. Despite being battle-scarred and a little exhausted, I try to keep up my optimism. I might be wincing just to see the light at the end of the tunnel but I do see it. But ’ve learned to call a spade a spade. If anything I don’t take things personally anymore. For instance, when someone says its not you- its me, I will take your word for it. I believe in saying what you mean – and when someone says one thing he or she should mean it. Why beat around the bush? Why blow my brains thinking of whats wrong with me when clearly its just not working out. Closure is overrated. You know whats wrong – face it. My new dating mantra – no expectations and no assumptions.

I like to think that for the right guy I would be willing to risk going through the heartache that can inevitably follow when things do not end the way you’ve envisioned it to. I’ve definitely learned to pick my fights. But when I do decide to go to war, I will go prepared in my full battle gear. Bring it on!

To Be Merry or Be Married?

About a week ago I got a call from a close friend of mine. She had great news. She got engaged! Needless to say I was happy for her, but I just had to ask her if she was absolutely sure she wanted to tie the knot. (Yeah, the writer’s a woman, no need to check again. Some of us also think of it as an end of an era.) When she replied yes – I rested my case. I wasn’t about to launch into a speech about how big a step it is to get married lest I dampen her happy day. Afterall who am I? I am not an authority on marriage. I have never been married, not even engaged. (Though I’ve been an the receieving end of a proposal, but that certainly doesn’t give me a license to lecture her! So here’s my one bit on the subject. DISCLAIMER: I respect the conservative view on the matter of marriage but I don’t fully subscribe to that train of thought. So I hope I will be afforded the same courtesy regarding my thoughts on the same. Everything you’ll read about is MY personal opinion.)

Yesterday, I got a call from another friend – a guy. And no, he did not call to tell me he was going to get married. He called to ask if I wanted to go together at another common friend’s engagement party next week. (Well, he did joke about it being his engagement party – I didn’t buy it tho.) I forgot all about it! I said yeah we should go together. We hung up. But that wasn’t the end of that subject.

Three days earlier, I found myself sitting opposite a partner at this law firm I applied at for my “job interview”. He asked me why I wasn’t married. I know I shouldn’t be surprised to hear personal questions in such a situation – so I wasn’t. Don’t get me wrong I didn’t mind answering it at all either. It wasn’t as if it was the first time I was faced with such queries regarding my being single. So you’re thinking: Huh??? Nothing wrong bout being single and not married, you’re just 25! Ooppss… I forgot, lemme correct that – … my being a single mom! So what’s my point? Well, now I’m sitting at home thinking. What’s up with the marrying fever? Why do I get all “icky” with the thought of marrying someone? Is it just me, am I weird? Or is it the whole concept of marriage that turns me off? Or am I a closet romantic who’s secretly waiting for the “right guy” (is there such an animal)?

My thoughts on marriage? Theoretically, marriage is a covenant (canon law) and a contract (civil law). To my mind, marriage is a commitment. Not a bad deal if you put it that way. So why the cynicism? I feel that marriage is a big step. Whenever another contemporary of mine gets married, I get the feeling we’re getting older. I know getting into marriage doesn’t require one to be that old. You just have to be 18 (with qualifications) for it to be legally binding. Marriage, ideally, should be thought through. The parties have to be mature – psychologically capacitated. But more often than not, chronological age and maturity are directly proportional to each other (save for a few exceptional people I guess). This is probably why I feel I am getting older (and hopefully wiser).

I guess my cynicism comes from the many marriages I’ve had the occasion to witness or hear about fail for various reasons. And there are the couples who stay married (meaning living together) but have entirely separate lives. I cant figure out which is worse actually. Have a failed marriage or still be in a farce of a marriage. Though I also know a number of couples who are still enjoying married bliss – but they’re few compared to the former. A dying breed so to speak. Or (at the risk of sounding pessimistic) maybe if they still are, how long is it really gonna last? Is there really such a thing as forever – til death do us part?

Its not so much that I don’t ever wanna get married. I am open to the idea. What I have a problem accepting is the necessity for marriage. I think marriage is a choice and not a given. It is just one of the many options we have and should exercise responsibly in life. One thing I know for sure, i wanna be merry with the person I marry. (To be continued...)

Finding Meaning

I’ve lost count (was I really keeping score?...) of the number of times I’ve heard people talk about finding meaning in their lives. How do we find meaning? How long does it take to find it? Is finding meaning really important? Or to ask the “unasked” but very palpable question of doubt hovering above us: Is there such a thing as meaning in our lives? What if we never find meaning? Do we pass on unfulfilled?

Again I start with an attempt at figuring out what people mean by “meaning” (sorry but pun intended!:). Is meaning the same as purpose? I hear about finding purpose just as often. Purpose? Goal or an end. Meaning? Significance or purpose. And I’d like to make my very own distinction between the two. Meaning is actually a broader term than goal. Goal is much more specific. Meaning can be used to refer to a goal or an end. But it can also mean motivation. The driving force behind an act. Nevertheless enough semantics. I would prefer to refer to this elusive “thing” as meaning.

I admit I’m guilty of having asked (whine actually) the same question to myself over and over again. Will I ever get to find meaning in my life? SSDD. Same Shit Different Day! I still get those days, though not as often as I used to go through before. Whether we like it or not, things do eventually fall into a routine. And when it does, I don’t think it necessarily means that you’re become boring. (Although in most cases I’m sorry to say… yeah, you’ve definitely become boring…. Well more accurately – predictable.) It is usually when this happens that we get to wonder to ourselves (or even out loud) if we’re happy doing what we do. Are we meant to do this? If not, what are we supposed to be doing with our lives? If yes, will this be the key to finally being happy or contented? Which brings about the query: Is it only when we find meaning that we can be happy and contented with our life?

I think it is important to know what you want to do in life. Life is what you make of it. There is neither a fixed schedule nor a fixed path. Only one thing is certain – we will die. We seal our fate with the choices we make. While I believe that there is a bigger picture. That somehow we a part of a great plan -- Destiny. I also believe in free will. That freedom to think, choose and decide. People should take advantage of such gift. How often do we think about our acts? Make conscious decisions and take responsibility for its consequences.

So how do we reconcile the concept of destiny/fate with free will? If life hands me lemons, do I have to make lemonades? Destiny is the argument. But destiny can only get you so far as hand you the lemons. What you do with the lemons is your own. I would then ask myself: Do I wanna spend the rest of my life making lemonade? Is destiny trying to push me in that direction? So who am I to question fate? Do I have a choice? I say, there’s always a choice! I don’t believe that you can be in a situation where there is only one choice. There are other choices. They may not be as easy or obvious but there’s bound to be at least one other choice. There is afterall a number of solutions to a problem. What usually happens is we want the fastest, easiest solution – which isn’t necessarily the most effective one, though it could be. Then comes in free will. I can choose to resign myself to making lemonade or I can figure out something else. I could plant lemons. Do something with the lemons or anything worthwhile to do but still be in the lemon business. But I could also decide that I don’t want these lemons. I can sell the lemons and use the money to get into something else other than the lemon business. This way I get to decide on my own what I want to do with my life. Bottomline still is: Is it really what you want to do.

Musings on life and its meaning gets me really subdued. I like to think that it is good to sit down and reflect on your life every now and then. Its sort of a stop, look and listen episode. Check your status. Where was I before? Where am I now? Am I happy with the way I got to where I am now? Is this where I want to be? Am I a better person? Do I like who and what I am today? What can I do about it? Though a word of caution: please don’t overdo it lest you wake up depressed and obsessed. Worst case scenario? You could spend the rest of your life searching for something that is already staring you in your face but you just haven’t recognized it. Or you may never find it for a number of reasons and end up unhappy, frustrated and unfulfilled (or so you think). So let it go. At the end of the day. Its not really about finding meaning or purpose. If you at any point you get to figure it out then call yourself lucky. But just in case you don’t, you’re not really missing out on life. There’s more to life than finding out its meaning. Live. There is some truth to the oft quoted adage: Live each day to its fullest… As if it’s the last day of your life.

“It is this insistence of man upon meaning that makes him so difficult. Once he realizes that he is of no importance whatever in the vast scheme of the universe, that no possible significance can be attached to his activities, that it does not matter whether he lives or dies, he will becomes much more … tractable.” - Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand

Money, Politics and Religion

MONEY, POLITICS and RELIGION. One would often remind oneself never to talk about these things with just anyone. And I agree. Most often than not, any conversation I find myself engaged in, involving these three, ended with at least one of us offended or upset. In a word – DISASTROUS. While I don’t think this should be the case, I understand why this is so. I do not claim to know exactly why this is so for everyone. I can, however, attempt to surmise the general sentiment behind such behavior or reaction. Not everyone is able to refrain himself from showing his reaction. I have my own views regarding things. And I also react to what or how someone says one thing but fortunately (or unfortunately) for me I have learned to keep my mouth shut regarding my not-so-common views, especially on religious beliefs. (And trust me, everyone should at least try to learn when to keep their mouth shut.) But what amazes me is the fact that not a lot of people realize that at the end of the day when you find yourself in a heated argument about these things (or anything for that matter) no one wins. Everyone loses when no one is willing to listen to the other or worse, when one doesn’t even give the other a chance to say his piece. People, consciously or unbeknowingstly, like to impose their ideas and beliefs on others and expect the latter to yield and in the same breath hate it when someone does exactly the same to them.

In my hopefully-not-futile attempt at understanding the why aspect of this issue, I would like to make it clear that I am of the view (and I may be wrong) that these topics are not much different from others considered safe. For instance, talking about the weather. What drives people to argue about something is a difference of opinion, a lack of respect for the other persons’ views or feelings or a stubborn refusal to admit when they are “defeated” (… although in some cases some people simply like to disagree for the hell of it). It is, afterall, possible to argue about anything and everything. Everything is relative (Thanks to Albert Einstein’s E=mc2). Even discussions on the weather can give rise to an argument. But why don’t we argue on that? No fun? Let’s talk about the bottomlines.

MONEY. This one has nothing to do with the oft quoted adage “money is the root of all evil”. Not in the sense that was meant for anyways. “How much do you earn in a year? Can you lend me some money? I just spent a fortune shopping for things I didn’t need…” So why is it considered rude to talk about money? Money usually becomes a controversial conversation piece because of an abundance (in which case you’re simply vulgar) or lack of it (insecurity---Sensitivity due to shame, envy or discontent) for most people. Id be lying if I said I didn’t care for money. True it does pave the way for making life easier and more comfortable. But I also believe that money cannot buy one happiness (not the real lasting kind of happiness we all secretly yearn for anyway). So you’re thinking you don’t exactly agree with what I just said. Then you think of the number of times you’ve felt “happy” about finally getting something you’ve always wanted to have. I ask you then to tell me how long the feeeling lasted. How long before you started wanting and wishing for something else? That’s something best saved for another discussion tho. Lucky is the man who knows when to stop wanting.

Bottomline: its not about having or not having money… Or the insatiable greed and love for money! Its about being sensitive and considerate of the feelings of the people around you. Tact. This is not an instance where the quote "if you have it, flaunt it" applies.

POLITICS. The controversy from this topic is ironically a result of “supposedly” nationalistic or patriotic concerns. How to run the government? Who should run the government? It doesn’t matter so much what the motives are for backing a certain political ideology, there will always be dissenters. In fact when you think about it… it’s healthy to have oppositors. Balancing effect huh? We shouldn’t expect people to believe in the same causes as we do. Most we can do is actually just try.

The real question is: Is politics really dirty? Politicking as we know it now is actually not about political ideologies anymore. Its all about the personalities. The who’s who. The movers and shakers of that aspect of our society. In an ideal world, having been elected to a public position makes one a public servant. Servant being the operative word. How many people actually run for office to perform service to the country. A disservice perhaps? Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country. Wait I think they got that wrong! Coz it seems like most of them have the motto: Ask what your country can do for and later (just before election time) do what you can do for your countrymen to get them to vote for you again.

Bottomline? Hhhmmm… Everything isn’t what it seems on the outside, lets try giving every person the benefit of doubt due. Afterall appearances can be deceiving and it’s a free country (the last time I checked anyway…). So what the heck, majority rules (lets just hope it’s the real majority anyway – and not something manipulated to look like “the majority”).

RELIGION: I saved the best for last. Why I say it’s the best? Because for me, this is the most interesting of the three. I often find myself breaking my own rules and knee-deep absorbed in a conversation about faith (which, by the way, usually starts off great with everyone testing the waters and holding back, then suddenly someone starts getting worked up and passionate -- which can be very contagious mind you! -- and ending with everyone leaving in an awkward silence… hahahaha!) Exactly the type of thing I enjoy. Talk about guilty pleasures! Tip for damage control: I always keep a smile plastered on my face and tell myself: Chill, chill, chill… Over and over again… Works!

On a more serious note, I think this topic is the bestseller because it is part of human nature. Not religion itself – but FAITH. As a line from a George Michael song repeatedly goes: “You gotta have faith”. And everytime I hear that, a thought bubble comes out of my head (or ear – I haven’t really figured that one out yet) and written inside: Who doesn’t anyway???! Makes sense though. At the onset of any conversation on this note, I make it a point to distinguish between faith and religion. Religion is necessarily a matter of faith but just because you have faith in something, that which you have faith in isnt necessarily a religion. So I prefer the word faith over religion. I steer clear of fanatics and I pick the people I indulge in a conversation of this sort with, lest I be accused of being blasphemous.

I think history, culture and religion are all intertwined. Wars have been fought, countries conquered and countless people killed (or murdered) in the name of religion. In the Philippine setting, religion plays a great role in peoples lives. In fact its so far reaching it can actually make or break a candidate for the highest elective position in the land. Only in the Philippines! This is only one of the many concrete examples of how much influence religion has to Filipinos. Those close to the heart can arouse passionate reactions which i think account for the high voltage tension during a conversation involving religion.

While I am more than happy to get into the thick of things and give my own reservations regarding particular doctrines imposed by certain religions, when necessary, I reach into my bag of wisdom and call upon the saying “different strokes for different folks” to placate anyone who gets vexxed during a conversation.

Bottomline: It’s all a matter of faith. Faith is a necessity. Where science fails, faith is your knight in shining armour to the rescue. What’s important is people have faith in something… Anything… (Rather than not having faith in anything at all... Or i dunno which is worse, losing faith in everything... arrggghhh chicken and egg!!!!!)